October 28, 2008
♥ i'm such a fool="(
I think i must change my character, stop all the chatty, joking around and most importantly, i must really think before i speak, or i might end up pissing people off without knowing the reason. I think i just see things way too simple, and most importantly, i think grown ups can't take jokes, they can't stand fooling around and stuff.
Sianz, suddenly feel that i'm unlikable, maybe people just pretending to be friendly to me, but deep down, they really dislike me, feeling rather down now... All along, i thought that i should just be myself and make friends with my real self, but now, its not the case anymore, i need to change to a mindset of a grown up, everything must go through thinking and planning, its just like changing myself to who they want me to be.
I just want to be myself, and if i happen to say anything offending, it all meant to be jokes, just joking around, i really never thought of people being offended with my jokes, or sometimes my straight-forward attitude. Don't like means don't like, not happy, just say it out, why must one hide their feelings? Wouldn't it be heavy and tiring just to wear a mask around?
Lots of misunderstandings and unhappiness had happened, kind of emotional, don't even know what i did wrong, silly of me right? Really hope that i'm still in secondary school where everything can be so happy go lucky, a Bowenian, where it is lame jokes and lame jokes, no worries. Really miss the happy times,but if i have really offended any of my friends, i'm very very sorry, its nothing harmful, but just the dumbness of mine, which make everyone unhappy, hope that you all will not take it to heart...
22:37
tan siok yong sharon